Think Like a Woman, Cry Like a Man
by DRRRLover1224
Summary: Shizuo is tired of acting sensitive towards Izaya, so he tries a different approach that leads to less tears. ONESHOT


"You know what, Izaya? I've been thinking…" I said as I grabbed my usual morning milk.

"What, Shizu-chan? You gonna offer me a cookie or something?" the raven-haired boy broke his chopsticks to eat his breakfast.

I rolled my eyes, "_No._ It's just that…I realized, "I'm trying to put it gently, "I think that…**you're too soft**."

He put off his diversion on the wooden utensils he was wrestling with in his hands and set his confused red-eyed gaze on me.

"What'd you say?"

I scratched the back of my rough blonde hair, thinking I probably should've just kept my mouth shut, but this issue had to be addressed sooner or later, "Izaya, I'm not trying to be mean, but it seems lately that you've been a bit _oversensitive_ nowadays…"

"Oversensitive? How?" Izaya cocked his head.

"Okay, well, I watched a documentary on how a guy's hormones can disperse gradually throughout our bodies when we hit a certain age."

Izaya smirked, "Wow, that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say…I'm impressed!" He clapped his hands in a mocking manner.

I growled, "Look, do you want me to help you, or would you rather get forcibly ejected from my house?!"

He pouted, "Aw, Shizu-chan's so mean to me~! And what makes you think I need help? Worried about me~?"

"No," I responded flatly when I returned the milk carton to its proper place in the fridge, "but truth be told, you cry **way** too much for it to be just hormonal changes."

I heard him huff behind me, "Oh, c'mon! I don't cry that much!"

"Izaya, you always cry, sometimes for nothing at all. You remember when I came over to your house a few days ago?"

The boy shifted his red eyes in a frown and crossed his arms, "Yeah, and?"

"When I got over there, you were bawling because your stuffed panda bear had a small tear in its ear."

"First of all, _he_ is not an _it _! His name is Shippa! Secondly, I've had that panda for a really long time, so wouldn't you be upset, too?!"

"Not really."

He scoffed, "No wonder. You also don't know how ecstatic I was when I got that bear. Remember, you were the one who gave him his red bow tie, right?"

"Yes, but Izaya, it's just a dumb toy. If I didn't know you any better, I say that you would join some edifice like "The Stuffed Animal Rights Association". I doubt something like that even exists but-"

"Oh, it does. I'm their treasurer."

I took that in for a second before continuing, "My point is that you should try to at least…_act _more masculine."

"Oh, so what do you want me to do? Sit down with a Taser and electrocute myself until all the "masculinity" stored inside of me suddenly RUSHES throughout my system?"

"…If you swing that way, then sure."

He did a "hmph!" sound before swiveling around in his seat to turn his back to me. I sighed and got a bit irritated.

"Dude, I'm trying to edify you in something that you could use some work on! I mean, sure, it's okay to shed a few tears once in a while, but seriously, you gotta-"

I stopped and twitched my ear when I heard sniffling. Izaya's shoulders jerked every few seconds, and after a while, I saw him wipe his face with the back of his hand. Suddenly, I felt some effervescent feeling bubble up in my chest, _most likely guilt_.

Yeah, sure, Izaya and I "bro around" when we're not busy, but that doesn't mean that he leaves his feminine side in the dust. For instance, if we're out and about in the people-filled streets of Ikebukuro, he'll skip behind me instead of walking. On Valentine's Day, he took me with him to a type of girly sweet store called something-something-Yummi, and since sweets are my #1 weakness, he let me gorge on an assortment of to-die-for confectionaries.

Later, he dragged me into an anime cosplay store, and I snapped a picture of him with my cell phone when he stepped out of the dressing room with a girl's school uniform: a sailor shirt, which had long sleeves that were well extended past his knuckles, with a wispy necktie flipped in the front, a short blue skirt, and high socks that kissed his knees. It's not easy finding guy friends like this, I'll tell you that much…

I hated that panging feeling that continued to throb within me, so I trudged over to him and petted his black hair, which felt like a newborn's. He flinched but kept on wiping his eyes and whimpering.

"Izaya, look at me."

His raised his head and slowly turned to face me. His innocent eyes looked even redder than ever, and tears were bubbling nonstop in their corners. I took a deep breath and said,

"Izaya, I'm sorry."

No response, so here comes my last resort.

"I-za-ya-kun~!"

He stopped for an instant, and his sobbing became diminutive by the second. I knew I had him when he giggled. We were only eight years old when we met, but whenever he started to cry, I'd sing out his name by each syllable. I don't know why or how this always cheered him up, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

I chuckled and wiped away the dripping water with my thumb, "Better now?"

He nodded, "Yeah."

We both stood there until Izaya broke the silence.

"Uh, Shizu-chan?"

"Hmm?"

"Can we go back to Miku Miku Yummi?! I'm DYING for another Sailor Moon Chocolate Swirl Sundae!"

I was surprised at how quick his demeanor changed from sorrowful to bursting with joy. Then again, ice cream does heal a broken heart…

"Um...well…"

He leapt, "YAY~! I'll get my coat, and prepare for company 'cause Shippa's going too!" He skipped all the way up his staircase, almost tripping on the seventh or eighth step. Making sure he was well up the stairs, I grumbled, "_Stupid Dr. Oz…"_

* * *

**...Yeah, this was just a Vocab assignment (you can probably tell) that I had to do for my PreAP Literature class. My English teacher thought it was funny, so...LOVE YA, TEACH! XD**


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